i hate possums. this probably isn't earth shattering as i can't say i've ever met a possum lover. but since one just scampered across my path on my way in tonight, i thought i should take a moment to reiterate that they truly are superfluous, if not disgusting. i hate that they hiss. i hate that they hide in dark corners and that their eyes glow. i also hate their long tales. in the grand scheme of evolutionary development it is a wonder that a blind, defenseless over sized rat that plays dead somehow managed not only to survive, but to thrive. its a biological joke that i don't find funny. at the very least, they should learn to jump. did you know they're the only mammal that can't even lift their own body weight off the ground? what an embarrassment. learn to jump, possum!

they sloth around looking dirty and lazy, sleeping under your car, scaring your cat. animals have three choices in this world: food, friend or enemy. the possum doesn't fit any of these categories. which is an additional reason that i hate them. i think it's about time we ban together and show these misfits who's boss. they need to shape up or get out. either domesticate and become lovable or take a note from the raccoon and toughen up. you've been warned, possum. you've been warned.

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